Our Weekly Tip: Remember Your Loved One With Their Favorite Food

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Our Tip of the Week: We often connect with our loved ones over necessary, daily things such as food. Sharing a meal together is one of the oldest and most profound ways of bonding, because it creates the space for us to nourish ourselves and each other through sharing food, time and our presence. Some people choose to share food in sacred silence, while others like to share their words, songs and laughter along with the main dish. However you choose to tap into this primal way of connecting, you can continue that relationship with a loved one whose body has died. Ask yourself: What was their favorite food? What foods did we both enjoy? What kind of food did we create special memories around?

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How-to Suggestion: From the inquiry above, choose one food that helps you feel close to your loved one. Whether it is a dish that requires careful, time-intensive preparation or something quick and easy, make the process slow and mindful, thinking of all the nourishing memories associated with that food. You may also use this time to speak with your loved one or pray for them in your own way. Even if the food requires a simple wash and chop (like an apple) or is something ordered from a restaurant, you can make the process your own by choosing to connect with your loved one and bring them into the experience with you.

For a beautiful way of sharing memories, prepare the food with others who are also grieving or remembering at this time. This food meditation can be done at any time, but may prove especially potent when preparing vittles for a funeral or memorial, a one-year anniversary of your loved one’s passing, or on their birthday. Just before you eat, put aside a little bit of the meal on a piece of bark or a leaf and leave it outside as an offering to your loved one’s memory or spirit — as a way of inviting them to sit with you at the great banquet table of the earth, where birth and death dance together to bring forth the soul-nourishing stuff of our lives.